Other Stresses

So I wonder if the other stresses in my life combine with my grief to make one giant lump in my heart and head.

I was reading on BBC today, and a woman I friended is trying to conceive after her full term loss.  I felt jealous. I felt like she was so lucky that her husband and her were in the same space. That he wanted to have a baby.

I recently gave my beloved the link to this blog. He very kindly subscribed to it. I thought at first I might hold back about what I would write, not wanting to make him feel any worse than I already do with my weekly tirades, so far that hasn’t been the case.

My feelings towards other women who get to take this journey again makes me so jealous. I wish I could just have that. Have my husband on my side. Like I would never deny him anything he felt so strongly about.

The jealousy and fury then turns to sadness because I can’t have it. At least for now. At least that’s what he says.

26 weeks pregnant with Xavier

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