Soccer and 1 month and 5 days

We are close! So close!

We are so busy with soccer right now, time is flying by. I am excited and scared. Mostly excited though 🙂

I’d like to do my daily affirmations:

We can do this. Our baby will live. We will bring him home and love on him. I will get pregnant and everything will be fine.


One question. I keep forgetting to take my prenatal pill. I really want to build up the folic acid in my body as my doctor suggested and I just keep forgetting.

Any suggestions on how to remember?

GOD! It feels like I already did this TTC dance yesterday. We began TTC Xavier in October of 2009. We conceived him in February 2010.

I have been trying to bring home a baby for over a year and a half. He didn’t make it home with us, and I miss him daily, but for me… it’s time. I am so done waiting. Waiting to get pregnant, waiting out a pregnancy, (having him die), waiting to heal, waiting to grieve, waiting for my beloved to be ready, and now waiting to try and get pregnant, WAITING, WAITING, WAITING…

1 month and 5 days. I have waited this long…how sweet will it be when (not if, but WHEN I like the power of positive thinking) our baby finally joins our family?

If we get pregnant right away we’ll have waited 2 and a half years. For a person such as myself, with the personality flaw of being so very impatient…it feels like a lifetime.


2 thoughts on “Soccer and 1 month and 5 days

  1. I’m with you on that. I couldn’t STAND not trying between Aidan and Acorn. It literally made the grief process worse. I didn’t want to either ‘try’ or ‘not try’…I just wanted to live and if it happened, it happened…even if it wasn’t the ‘best’ time or whatever. See my posts about this from last summer:
    I’m over 2 years out from when we first ‘started TTC’. With one dead baby, two rocky pregnancies, 26 weeks of bed rest and financial flatlining from all the time I’ve had off work, I’m ready for some happy. I fucking deserve it at this point.

    • Oh Emily 🙂 You so deserve it. I wish I could snap my fingers for all of us and just make every thing OK.

      I just hope and pray, and then pray and hope and cross my fingers and close my eyes and beg and plead.

      We all deserve something good and that is not to make it sound like nothing good has ever happened to me, I have 2 beautiful healthy sons, but holy shit- my baby died and you can’t get any worse than that….can you?

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