So it occurred to me today that this blog, this space on the interwebs is my sad place. I’m not sure exactly how that came to be but there you have it.
I don’t have time to be sad in my day to day, and I think if you asked any one who knew me, they wouldn’t have anything remarkable to say about me. I smile, laugh make jokes, socialize and behave like a “normal” person. I feel sometimes I don’t have license in my everyday to be grieving and I have noticed that these post are how I get to be sad.
This little space, my corner of dead baby land, I can moan and bitch about what I’ve lost. I can be scared about the future, I can cry while I type out a post or a comment and it’s OK. Sometimes when I post happy thoughts and ideas here it feels wrong, and now I know why.
I am hoping to be able to turn this into more than just my sad place, because I don’t think it’s healthy to just dwell, but I guess that’s what I need(ed). So I am going to try to post my happy thoughts too (when I have them)… because I’d love a happy ending to this story.