More waiting. I should re-name this blog to “Always Waiting”.

We are currently in the two week wait. I am emotionally preparing myself for my period to come. Not because our timing was off or anything, but because it seems impossible that it could happen this quickly and I don’t want to be devastated.

D has made it clear to me that if and when I do get pregnant, no matter the outcome of the pregnancy, this will be our last attempt. Scary shit and HEY, no pressure right?

I can understand though. Why keep putting yourself in the line of fire, especially when this pain is everlasting. It brings me to question, how much am I willing to endure?

I hate waiting, and my brain is on over drive.
I miss Xavier something fierce these days. I feel like I have been speaking to him more when I get flustered and emotional. It brings me a sense of calm. What a journey…this is my life…unreal…

I know I was moaning and bitching about angels the other day, but does any one else picture sibling souls together? I picture Xavier sending his sibling to us…is that strange?

We’ll know in the next 10 days for sure 🙂


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