Well it’s Friday, so why not another confessional?
#1- It makes me angry if people in my life don’t ask me how I’m doing..and not in the generic sense…why don’t people ask me how I am doing in my grief journey? If I miss Xavier? Do I still cry?
#2 – If some one asked me how I was doing, without those specific questions I would probably just say “fine”. (Sadly)
#3 – After this weeks run of BFN’s, I really had to ask myself if I could handle them over an elongated length of time. I don’t know if I am strong enough. It’s hard to admit you are scared, it’s even harder to keep going.
#4 – I have more self doubt than I ever had in my entire life.
#5 – I know I’ll keep going, I don’t know how to quit.
#6 – I cried in the bathroom at the splash pad yesterday. I had M and 5 of his soccer friends. In walks a woman and her baby, bad went to worse as she began breast feeding…
Thanks for being my ears and shoulder to cry on. We are of to Wonderland today, and knowing I am not pregnant, I guess I can enjoy some of the rides…consolation? Not…