Here I thought this funk I was in was all ttc woes…that was until my beloved asked me what did I want to do for Thanksgiving.
Xavier was born on Canadian Thanksgiving Sunday. This year it falls on the Monday. Then it dawned on me, a year. A whole year, and I have to recognize it. How the hell am I going to do that?
So the conversation began. “What do you want to do?” “I don’t know, what do you want to do?”
I don’t want to drive all around eating turkey with various different family members that’s for damn sure.
M has requested we still do a turkey, with cupcakes for Xavier’s birthday and also go to a mass and release some balloons wirh messages (smart kid).
D has no idea what he wants to do. He doesn’t want to go to the hospital as I suggested, he doesn’t think it would bring him any peace or comfort. He too is on the turkey train though…wtf is up with that? Making a turkey? Can I point out we missed all turkey dinners because of Xavier’s sudden arrival? If I ever see a turkey dinner again it’ll be too god damn soon.
I think I’d like to crawl into bed with two dozen cupcakes, cry my eyes out and dream of my handsome boy. With maybe a balloon release. The end. That’s not going to happen. To many people loved him too. I can’t be that selfish to deny our family and friends his remembrance day.
So what to do…what to do??