The one where I remember why I’m trying again

From LJ via Glow in the Woods.

Please have a read, Angie is a wonderful writer.

Short Story

In case you are curious, she asks at the end of the post:

If you were rewriting your story after finding out your child died, what would you change? What advice would you give yourself? What kind of peace do you think that would bring? Would you even want a future you to advise past you on your own grief experience? Would it be easier to hear it from a future you or a stranger?

I would tell myself to hold him, hold him even after he was dead. Hold him and kiss him until someone had to say “Mrs. R, we need to take Xavier now”.

I would advise myself to bathe him. I would encourage me to dress him in his own clothes not ones from the NICU.

It’s been awhile since I had a full out bawl. Being consumed with TTC can put blinders on, but it’s still there, a little to the left, and a little to the right in my peripherals. I can only look straight ahead for so long…so thanks for that. I needed it.

 

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