Don’t think about it and it will come
A few things I have been told over the last few months in regards to getting pregnant. I really wish people would shut the hell up. They have no clue. I love my husband, I want a baby, I have been pregnant four times (miscarriage in 1994), it will happen again right? Wrong. So much shit can go wrong reproductively as you get older, and I am fearful they are all happening to me.
I am 6dpo, so I’ll know soon if I can cancel my appointment at my fertility clinic. For anyone who reads this, we are going to ICIS, if you have been or have any feedback please leave it in the comments.
I’ve been thinking a lot about my boy this past week. Remembering carrying his little body inside of mine. Feeling him move, nudge, stretch and kick. Remembering his sweetheart lips and dimpled chin. His little toes and hands so much like his Daddy’s. I miss him so much…I wish we could roar like lions. The deep grumbling echoing roar of a lion is what my grief would sound like. It would start at the tip of my toes, run through my body and explode out of my mouth. ROOOARRRR
My grief seems to be compounded by not being able to get pregnant. Another slap in the face by fates cruel twist.
They are calling for frost tomorrow, and it just seems like the seasons are running into each other so quickly.
I miss you and I love you my little boy.