Today I am in the midst of the TWW. I have been pretty calm and zen these past few days, but I think that’s because I know if we aren’t successful this cycle, I get cycle monitoring and a battery of tests next cycle. So, I am just hanging in there wondering how it’s going down there in my uterus.
Over at the 2 Week Wait, she mentioned something about Occupy my Uterus, and quite frankly, I’d like to send a message to any and all possible blastocysts to feel free and camp out…room and board will happily be provided.
My eldest still thinks I am pregnant…he confronted my beloved in the car to school the other day. These are such strange times with an almost 15 year old boy. A child still, but becoming so manly. Allow me to digress a bit here, I let him go on a day time date with his new high school girlfriend today. They had a P.A. day. I didn’t want to do it, but how long can I keep him at home with me
locked tucked in his bedroom…I know my first thought was until his wedding day, but I think that may be practical unrealistic. I am thankful we have left an open door policy with him and he keeps us abreast of all the kissing he does with girls he goes out with. I am hoping (but cringing at the thought) that he will always be this open with us because it won’t always be just kissing. I think I have scared him enough with the thought of STD’s and yeast infections that it won’t go past kissing…for now. We are Roman Catholic and he goes to catholic school so between us as parents and them as educators, we have covered our bases with the whole abstinence education thing…but I am a realist and I don’t know of or have had the pleasure of meeting very many 20 year old virgins men. But one can always hope. (and fervently pray..for the love of sweet Jesus)
Let me get back on track for this post…
Tonight at said sons soccer practice, I was speaking about loss, grief and our specific situation with Xavier and our boys with some of the moms. One mom had the BALLS to tell me that her cousin had lost a baby so many years ago and she was surprised that after all this time she still wasn’t over it. She should really be over it by now. OVER IT???? INSERT RANT HERE– I’d like to know how many years it would take for her to get over losing one of her sons now. Would it take one year? Two maybe? Or how about NEVER? What the fuck biatch…think before you open your big fucking mouth. Was this an indication that perhaps I should be over it? Is that what you are getting at? You big haired freak. Yeah that’s right…I am going there. Thank GOD I blog anonymously and can doll out personal attacks.
I won’t be over it EVER. NEVER. It might surprise you to know I still cry…and I have EVERY DAMNED RIGHT TO. He might have been a baby, but he was my son. MY FLESH AND BLOOD. I am allowed to miss him, to want him back, to feel like I am missing someone even if I still have other good things in my life. Get off your high horse and embrace you cousin you selfish witch. Speak that child’s name. Tell her you miss him for her.
Never ask a grieving mother to be “over it”. Otherwise, she has every right to cut a bitch.