This IS that post

CD 27 15DPT 14DPO

I am unsure where to begin.

I was so outraged at having to pay $85 for a trigger that I thought was useless…that I was going to ovulate on my own. The greed of these fertility doctors. They prey on the emotionally fragile. She said go get a trigger, I was confused and should have asked a few questions, but I nodded stupidly, opened my wallet and dropped my pants.

Fast forward to Friday night. I “tested the trigger out” the week before meaning I used a bunch of cheapies to confirm I no longer had HCG trigger in my urine. I had a “big test” that I was saving for my test day (which is tomorrow) and thought…fuck it. I once again dropped my drawers and poas. It was positive…but it was more sensitive than the cheapies so it was probably just left over trigger.

I vacillated between thoughts of this is IT and OH.MY.GOD don’t let your self feel anything over this. I spent most of Saturday distracted and terrified. I allowed myself little thoughts of a baby in my belly and would quickly cut them off. I just can’t afford to let my heart get attached to anything that isn’t even for sure.

Tuesday I went to the clinic and they did a blood draw after I was still getting +hpt’s (probably still trigger) EXCEPT…I still had no signs of AF and the tests looked like they might be getting darker. Pam called me back and told me “Congratulations! You have a positive!”

What? Me? We did it? Holy shit!!!

So long story long…I am pregnant.

First Beta Tuesday- 38.5
Second Beta – Thursday
Third Beta – Saturday

The hurdle that I thought would be the highest has been jumped. I don’t know if this will have a happy ending, but for now I have a happy start and I am so thankful, full of joy and hopeful.

EDD- September 26, 2012



6 thoughts on “This IS that post

  1. WHOO HOOOO!!!!! Here’s hoping a year from now you’re trying to get your ‘rainbow’ to go the f*ck to sleep like I am right now!

    Seriously. I’m so happy for you!

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