Beta #3

This beta was 2 hours shy of 48 hours

First Beta 13dpo Tuesday- 38.5
Second Beta 15dpo Thursday- 90
Third Beta 17dpo Saturday- 207
Fourth Beta 19dpo Monday-

I have to go in again on Monday…I am wondering if the nurse knows that other than a trigger, this is an unmedicated cycle. I have heard that they look for higher values for fertility patients.

I specifically asked her (same nurse from “it’s a little low”) if I should be worried and she said nooooo…just like that…nooooo

So here is where I stand…today I am pregnant, and probably tomorrow too. I will not let my overachieving self dictate that the betas should be higher. They are WELL within normal and reasonable.

I might even let myself daydream a bit about the baby in my belly.

I know that for anyone peeking in or reading, all of this might seem strange…that last week I was crying about Xavier and today I am overly concerned about beta numbers for our new baby. The truth is…I had to set aside my grief for the last few days to deal with this new stress. I just couldn’t take it on all at once. When I feel more comfortable with this new pregnancy and less uneasy, I’ll be able to allow Xaviers grief back in…if I didn’t separate the two right now, it might bowl me over and I wouldn’t be able to cope.

I also wanted to thank everyone for commenting and trying ease my fears! There is no one on this earth who would understand any of this other than you. You are an amazing group of women and I am blessed to have found each and everyone of you…

xo

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3 thoughts on “Beta #3

  1. There is always that time when hope eclipses our grief- and if we let it it there are indeed moments that can help ease the pain of loss. Wishing you those moments mamma.. and lovely news on the beta. Up up up…..

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