Rainbows

January 17, 2012 – First Beta 13dpo Tuesday- 38.5
January 19, 2012 – Second Beta 15dpo Thursday- 90
January 21, 2012 – Third Beta 17dpo Saturday- 207
January 23, 2012 – Fourth Beta 19dpo Monday- 613

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February1, 2012- 6w0d- u/s Heart beat detected
February 7, 2012- 6w6d- u/s Heart beat – 133 measuring 6w3d
February 21, 2012- 8w6d- u/s Heartbeat – 171 measuring 8w5d

March 3, 2012- 10w3d- home doppler Heartbeat – 144 -150
March 10, 2012- 11w3d- home doppler Heartbeat – 158

March 16, 2012- 12w2d- NT Scan- CRL 61.3mm NT 1.4mm
March 20, 2012- 12w6d- gender guess was given @ Dr. K’s (girl)
April 17, 2012- 16w6d- gender guess #2 – girl
May 1, 2012- Placenta exam
May 15, 2012- Anatomy scan

June 29, 2012-Gestational Diabetes test

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Pictures

Mr. Bean’s first Glamour Shot

In love already.

18 weeks girl potty shot

20w6d

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So, what of rainbows?

What does it mean.  Why would I be so concerned about them?

The term rainbow baby, is the baby you have after your loss. They are what you get after the hurricane of loss. Out of the storm comes a rainbow.

Do they replace? Never.

Do they heal you? How could they not. My two boys I have here with me heal me daily.  I wanted a baby before Xavier’s limited time here, and I still do.

Will a rainbow help me forget my pain? NOTHING could ever let me forget him…EVER.

Will I be all better if I have a rainbow? Really? What a question (and I can assure you, it has been said) I will never be OK with Xavier being dead.

Do I want to try again? More than anything in the world…

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